Antlers are hard to swallow

Once upon a time there was a man who was very angry because he had antlers. Hunters shot at him. People laughed at his antlers. He couldn’t wear a hat and he had to buy a convertible. Doctors tried to remove the antlers but they were too hard. They were able to get the bullets out of the man’s butt, though.

A deer named Roberta fell in love with him. They picnicked together and ate berries. One night while driving, the angry man hit a deer with his convertible. He killed the deer but only cracked his windshield. Turns out the dead deer was Roberta’s brother, Hans. Roberta said it was all right, but the angry man could tell it wasn’t. They drifted apart.

The man got lonely and held up a liquor store. He was easy for the police to find and they sent him to jail. Everyone in jail laughed at him and called him antlerhead, but they pretty much left him alone because the antlers made them nervous.

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